Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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