So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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