Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize