He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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