we have officially lost it.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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