So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
