brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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