I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
