mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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