When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
