Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
