im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
