garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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