My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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