I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize