So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Floor bacon is actually really good
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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