I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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