i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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