the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
