I'm jealous of your bromance
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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