so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
