woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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