We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
