white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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