every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
