some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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