I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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