So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
