We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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