I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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