OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
