You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
