she is the kim kardashian of front butts
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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