Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
