One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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