i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
