No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
