Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
