I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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