There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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