GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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