none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
