i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
