I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
