Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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