Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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