Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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