I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
