Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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