You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My pussy is not your playground.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
