I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
