just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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