i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
