The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize