Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
