He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
