I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
